In an effort to be honest and real here on this blog, I have a confession to make.
Sometimes life is hard and yucky and depressing.
There, I said it!
Lately I have felt like Eeyore, with a little black rain cloud following me around everywhere. Through these gloomy glasses every little negativity becomes amplified, and cheerfulness becomes shrouded and almost invisible. It is a dark place that is difficult to leave. Hormones and sleep-deprivation are mostly to blame, but they're joined by the moody weather of winter that keeps me more homebound, a busy and stressful Christmas season, and the raw reality that I have 5 children who all seem ready to revolt at any given moment.
It always gives me a better perspective when I step back and look at myself objectively. From there I can tell myself to get a grip, that things aren't that bad, and that my children are not secretly attending night classes on demonic behavior. I can give myself a pep-talk about the things I can do to shake the gloom and put on a happy face.
I think Eeyore put it quite well: "When stuck in the river, it is best to dive and swim to the bank yourself before someone drops a large stone on your chest in an attempt to hoosh you there."
Gratitude is the swimmer's stroke out of that river and it's about time that I start recognizing my blessings a little more. I AM thankful to be a mother, though I am convinced that it is the hardest thing a woman can do. But it is in the hardest challenges of motherhood that joy can be found in the most abundance. That is where the real learning and growth happens and you can't make it to the other side without becoming stronger by default.
There is one mother that is such an inspiration to me. I think of her often when things are tough. Thinking of Stephanie Nielson, a woman I have never met and probably never will, keeps me going. She and I are about the same age and our children are all about the same ages. I only hope the similarities do not end there and that I can manage to face my trials and overcome them with the same spirit as Nie. This article has moved me beyond words.
So here's to adversity. May it make the best of me.
Just a little sampling of today's adventures. These two are always perfectly synchronized!
8 comments:
Thanks Angie for being so honest!!:) I to have had this same feelings lately and had this realization that I'm strong and I can get through it if I look at the big picture with different eyes. I appreciate your thoughts and think you are an amazing person.
Angie, just what I needed to hear. Thank you! To be honest I have always wanted you to say something about life being hard because you are so on top of things!! You make 5 kids look easy when I know it CANNOT be! I love your blog, your positive outlook on life, and your honesty! You are awesome, and if anyone can do 5 little kids it is you! (Love the crying pictures!) I to have had many emotional moments reading Stephanie's (Nie) blog.
Angie, you are not at all alone, you know. We all feel this way sometimes. I always marvel at you and your can-do approach to everything! You are such an awesome mom, but even awesome moms get the blues! Hang in there, sweetie!
Isn't Stephanie amazing??? I loved that story on her. She is so inspiring!!
Giggle. I can't help but giggle at Jamo crying and water everywhere and baby crying and needing you. That's what I have to do when life gets crazy at my house- just giggle at the absurdity of it all! Here's to surviving the yucky winter with little kids all stuck in the house!
It's so reassuring to know that you're not the only mom out there that can find herself "stuck" in an uncheerful state! Somehow, knowing others are having a crazy time too makes it feel almost funny and LOTS easier to bear!
Love you Angie!
you're awesome. I truly have no idea how you do it. I always remind myself, when I'm in Primary, that the kids aren't being bad on purpose. Even if it feels that way.
You can do this!
Angie, I know you don't know me I found your blog a little over a year ago from my sister-in-law's blog (Kirsten Nelson) any it caught my attention because I have a son born about a month after your Jameson and in July I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who was 3 months old the day you had your sweet Avery. I hope you don't mind that I have been "stalking" your blog :-) I always appreciate your candor, especially this post and the one you did about a month or so ago regarding the postpartum period. I don't have a lot of people around me that can relate to where I am in life right now so, it's nice to know that there are other women who know and are experiencing similar situations, challenges, and triumphs through this journey called motherhood. It relieves a huge burden and makes me feel a little more "normal." All I can really say is THANK YOU!!!
Georgette
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